The scariest thing about Samhain isn’t the dead. It’s what you won’t let die
From the Celtic wheel to the Sicilian night of the dead: a medium’s reflection on death, rebirth and the courage to let go
Every year at this time, I ask myself the same question: what am I still holding on to that is already dead?
This year, it’s my attachment to being judged by how well I perform, and to everything I can’t control. For twenty years in a corporate world built by men, I learned to prove myself again and again, and to wait for a recognition that, sometimes, never came. I’ve known for a while that this waiting keeps me tired and small. Letting it go means trusting that I am worthy without anyone telling me “well done”. That is the hardest thing I’ve ever practised.
And Samhain is the night I choose to finally let it die. Samhain, better known today as Halloween, is a Celtic festival that marks the end of one year and the beginning of the next. I’ve always felt it that way. Maybe because of my mediumship, my relationship with death and with spirits has always been very close.
But let’s take a moment to understand what Samhain is, where it comes from and what it holds.
Where it comes from
Samhain is the Celtic New Year, the first festival and the first cross-quarter day of the Wheel of the Year.
My teacher in Ireland taught me that its name means “three days at the end of summer”. In fact, many traditions celebrate it over three days, from 31 October to 2 November. For me, these are the days when the portal opens and spirits can come into our world. It was also believed that we could cross into the Otherworld, because the veil between the two worlds becomes very thin.
Entering the dark
With Samhain we enter the dark half of the year. Deep feminine energy takes over. The harvest is done, and now it’s time to go into the void, to understand which seeds we want to plant for the next cycle.
We are not comfortable living in the unknown, especially in this AI era, where we think there’s an answer for everything. But in nature there is no harvest without rest. It is in the void that we find the answers, the inspiration and the seeds. So why do we resist resting, slowing down and listening?
Death and rebirth
Samhain reminds us that death is not an ending but a passage. The leaves fall and feed the soil, then the seed has to stay in the dark before it can break open. Nothing is born without something first letting go.
In the Celtic tradition, the face of the goddess at this time is the Cailleach, the old woman of winter. She asks us what needs to die in our lives: a habit, a role, a relationship, an old way of being. If we let her in, she becomes Brigid, the maiden of spring, at Imbolc. What we release now is exactly what makes space for what will flower.
As women, we know this rhythm in our bodies. Every bleed is a small death and a small rebirth. Samhain asks us to trust that same cycle in our lives.
From Ireland to Sicily
When I lived in Ireland, I had the chance to truly learn these celebrations and begin to embody them. And I discovered that we have a very similar tradition in Sicily.
In my family, on the night between 1 and 2 November, we children would leave an empty basket, u cannistru, by the bed. The family would leave a candle lit and the table set for the dead who came to visit. During the night, the dead filled our baskets with sweets and gifts and hid them around the house, and on the morning of 2 November we woke up and ran to find them. It is called la Festa dei Morti, and it’s a joyful day.
We also honour our ancestors with an altar at home: photos of our loved ones, candles, light, and offerings of the things they loved.
Similar traditions exist all over the world. Think of the Día de los Muertos in Mexico.
Why the ancestorsThose who know my work know that the ancestors, especially the mother line, are where every healing journey begins. The ancestors who loved us support us in life and show us the way. They carried the family trauma before us. So who better to show us what needs to be cleared, and to remind us that we were already enough?
A simple ritual for Samhain night
Clean and clear a small space at home. A table or a shelf is enough.
Place a photo or an object of an ancestor who cared for you, and an offering of something they loved: a flower, a sweet, a piece of fruit.
Light a candle and say their name out loud. Thank them. Remembering them helps their soul, and they can help you find your way.
Sit in silence for a few minutes. If you like, ask them a question, and pick a card or simply notice what comes.
Write on a piece of paper what you’re ready to let go of this year, and burn it safely.
When you feel complete, thank them again and blow out the candle. Always close what you open.
A few things to avoid: call only ancestors you know and who loved you, not “whoever comes”. Don’t do this ritual if you’re exhausted or your grief is very recent. In that case, a candle and their name are enough.
This Samhain, I invite you to slow down with the season. Let the leaves fall, let the dark come, and trust that something is already preparing itself beneath the surface.
And remember: one day we’ll be ancestors too. What would you like to leave to the women who come after you? Tell me in comments
If you feel called to go deeper into your mother line, I offer 1:1 ancestral healing sessions, and our next moon circle in Paris is on 24 November, under the Full Moon in Gemini. You’ll find everything here
With love, Lorella
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